What do you see?

30 10 2013



What if the way you see the world is exactly what it is: the way YOU see the world? What if your brain filters only that which resonates with you?

Last week, a friend posted on Facebook a picture of a lounge with the question where she was. To me it just was a lounge, a rather nondescript lounge, but a lounge nonetheless. Curious as to where it would be, I scrolled through the comments, where one of my friends had commented ‘One where you can smoke.’ Huh? Back to the picture, and there out of the blue, like magic appeared ashtrays on the tables. Really chuncky ashtrays. And I, having an eye for detail, had not noticed them. And I wasn’t the only one, other non-smokers had not noticed them either. It was not part of our world. It did not resonate with us, until someone directed our focus to it.

Our brains skim and scan through masses and masses of information, and make sure we get the information we want, by highlighting information that matches with that which is activated within us. Suppose you just decided to buy a new car, a Toyota Corolla. There are many of those, but you never noticed them, until then. Or a Tesla Roadster, there aren’t too many of those, but once you decided to buy one, you see them everywhere. Because in your brain the tag Toyota Corolla or Tesla Roadster gets activated. This is an unconscious process. The new car will probably where off pretty quickly, although I must admit that I still see my car driving everywhere. However some tags are active for a long time. Read the rest of this entry »

Creating a heart map

23 10 2013


I thought I had worked through being bullied, I did, until last week. I was bullied between the ages of 8 and 11. The low point: being thrown at with dog turds by several kids. One of them was my best friend. She was, she really was, in the periods that she didn’t bully me, which was most of the time. Being bullied by my best friend has rather screwed up my concept of friendship. It is over 30 years later, and I still find myself struggling with it. Read the rest of this entry »

A fresh start

16 10 2013



Today, I am turning 41. Again it has been an amazing year, full of leaps and shifts, and so very different than I imagined it to be. Somehow, in retrospect, every year comes with a theme. Where the previous year was centered around healing, physically, emotionally and spiritually, this last year was all about discovery. What do I want? What do I really really really want? It was about learning to discern between my own voice and all the other voices that have shaped me, between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic pressure. It was about learning to let go of expectations and the shame of not feeling good enough, to find ways that work for me, to put emphasis on the process and letting go of the result. Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s go fuzzy – the art of intention-setting

9 10 2013



We live in a society where success is equalled with the ability to set and meet big goals. So for years, I set goals, and very hard tried to meet them. That has proven to be an interesting be it not very effective experiment. Focusing on a goal is like looking through a tube, it creates constricted awareness. A narrow perspective tends to lead to an inflexible mind, which sees problems rather than opportunities and is resistant to anything that is outside of its scope. Setting big goals is imposing preconceived ideas on a future that is  not only unknown, but unknowable. However big the goal may be, it is a  very limited way of looking at Life. Read the rest of this entry »

Staring at my garden

2 10 2013



If you have ever taken a meditation class, you probably will have heard the instructor say that you should picture your thoughts as clouds that float in and out of your consciousness. My first instructor was young and probably rather inexperienced and she did not quite explain the goal of meditation or dismantle the most persistent myths that exist around meditation, like the idea that when you meditate your head should be empty. She had said something about emptying your mind, picturing a blue sky and if (not when) we had thoughts we should let them float out of our sight.  I remember trying to picture a blue sky and it kept filling with white clouds, masses of them. And very soon I was not picturing a blue sky anymore, I was just very busy chasing these clouds out of my picture. It was a very frustrating and tiring 15 minutes.  I tried for a few weeks and then decided this was not for me.

It wasn’t until years later that Read the rest of this entry »