Life is fun

26 11 2014



I spent this whole morning writing an article with the intention of publishing it today, until in the last paragraph I discovered that it takes some infrastructural changes to my website before I can post it. So here I am, on a Wednesday afternoon, kids in the house, things needing to be done and I have nothing to put on my blog. Whoa!

Not so long ago there would have been a sense of not measuring up. To my amazement, I am sitting behind my desk, laughing. I can only see the humor of it. Of course, not posting a blog is not a biggie, but it is a commitment I made to myself, a commitment I want to honor. Yet, this is life, things have a tendency to go differently than anticipated. That’s what happens when we’re willing to put ourselves out there. As always, I do want to post something that adds value. Today, that added value comes in the form of being able to relax into what is happening.

This Universe works in mysterious ways, and I’ve come to trust that whatever happens is perfect. It may not be what I preferred to happen, but I have learned that somehow in the grand scheme of things it always is better than what I set out to do originally. Timing is everything, and this Universe is the master of perfect timing. So, I took a deep breath and relaxed into this present moment. And when I do, no matter what is happening around me, joy and peace are available, always. The kids decided to go play outside, I just wrote an essay of 300 words, and apart from some technical stuff, next week’s article is ready to be published. Best of all, I feel great. Life is fun.


photo by Ned Horton

Take off your invisibility cloak

20 11 2014


Visibility Cloak



In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Harry gets into a bit of trouble. Doesn’t he always? Hogwarts hasn’t even started and we find Harry, on the floor of a train car, paralyzed by a spell, bleeding out of his nose, under his invisibility cloak, alone, while the train is preparing to go back to London. Apart from the bleeding nose, that was me. As a baby, I was taught that I was both invisible and inaudible, and that left me paralyzed for the first 40 years of my life.  And I didn’t even know I was wearing an invisibility cloak, I just experienced not being seen or heard.

Now, it seems to me that, at core, we all believe we are invisible to some extent, and as a result we attract into our lives all sorts of situations that reinforce our sense of invisibility, making it part of our being. Imagine that no one can see or hear you, what use would it be to put yourself out there, what purpose would it serve when no one would notice? There is only one thing worse than being invisible and that is getting the confirmation that you are indeed unnoticed. This fear is paralyzing. It prevents us from doing what we really want to do, from being all that we are.

For as long as I can remember, it has been my desire to shine my light for all the world to see. We all want that. It is human to want to be seen and heard for who we truly are, to be acknowledged. Yet in order to be just that, we need to consciously put down our invisibility cloak. We need to let go of the fear of invisibility that is cloaking our light. The secret to being visible, heard and acknowledged is knowing that you are. I am in the process of putting down my cloak. I am training myself to not only see the proof of my visibility, but to feel it, to internalize it, to make it my own. There is no doubt in my mind that the more we see ourselves for all that we are, the more we allow our light to shine. We ARE God expressing itself physically. We ARE the Universe in miniature. Not even Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak can obscure that.

picture by Okay Yaramanoglu

Training our dragons

12 11 2014


Ever seen the movie How to train your dragon? It is brilliant! In the movie, we meet Hiccup, a young, inventive Viking, son of the village leader. Their village is a village of dragon fighters, as they are continually raided by dragons. Hiccup, clandestinely, joins the battle and when he downs a dragon, he cannot bring himself to kill it. Instead they become friends. Hiccup learns that dragons are not bad, just misunderstood. He learns to ride the dragon and together they train to become one in flight. Of course both the villagers and dragons don’t take easily to this new reality, but the example of this boy and his dragon transforms the relationship between the villagers and the dragons.

We live in a world where we are taught, like the villagers, that we are surrounded by danger, and we have learned to fight it, fight it hard. But instead of going away, the dangers we perceive become stronger. And in order to win, we fight harder. But somehow our battles seem futile, the enemy gets stronger and stronger. We have been indoctrinated by the survival of the fittest. And most of us interpret this to be survival of the strongest, or survival of the toughest, which both are legitimate interpretations. But these are not the only meanings of fittest. When we look up fit in the dictionary, we also find “Of a suitable quality, standard, or type to meet the required purpose: having the requisite qualities or skills to undertake something competently.” In the light of evolution this seems to be more fitting. When things don’t work the way they used to work, the fittest develops new skills and qualities, she or he adapts.

Like Hiccup, I did things differently then the people in my village. At a critical point on my journey, I understood that in order to kill the dragon, I had to kill myself. I was unable to kill myself and instead I befriended the dragon. Now I am learning to ride it, and boy what a thrill that is. I do believe that when we stop trying to kill our dragons and dare to look them in the eyes, we will discover that they aren’t the enemy, our fear of dragons is. When what we are doing isn’t working, it is time to face our fears and find a different way to approach our dragons. What I have learned is that what we resist, what we are unwilling to allow, becomes stronger, and what we befriend, what we are not only willing to allow but appreciate, becomes cooperative. I have learned that there is a different way to perceive our problems. I have learned that when we allow them, are willing to intimately know them without the hidden goal to ultimately destroy them, appreciate, and then train ourselves in riding them, our problems change into opportunities, and in doing so we change our reality.

Our perceptions govern our reality. Our perceptions are governed by our beliefs. Beliefs are nothing more than deeply engrained thought patterns, some handed down from generation to generation. It is time to let go of beliefs that aren’t working anymore. It is time to perceive differently. It is time to adapt. Until now we were taught to either survive or die. Survival instincts lead to us to kill whatever we believe is between us and winning, for winning is surviving. That old adagio isn’t true anymore. If we want to live fully and survive as a species, we have to shift paradigms, we need to reprogram ourselves to the new motto: thrive or die.  Thriving is very different from surviving. It is a reality in which there is no separation between ourselves and the dragons, where we take care of each other and synergistically create a world that fits everyone’s needs. We cannot thrive until we befriend our dragons, and train ourselves to ride them. It is time to adapt, to develop new skills and thrive.