Merry Christmas!

24 12 2014



I am sucker for Christmas, somehow more and more each year. Growing up in a christian family, it was one of the highlights of the year. Then, as I lost my religion, I lost that sense of meaning and celebration. Yes, I decorated my home, we cooked a great meal, but I did not feel the spirit of christmas. Basically, it was just a day as all other days, just better dressed. Today, it still is just a day as every other day, but with the big difference that nowadays every day is a day infused with the spirit of christmas. This year even more than ever.
Here I am, on Christmas Eve, sitting in my PJ’s, in my candlelit living, laptop in my lap. Last week, I talked about manifesting our dreams, about pulling them into being. When that happens in a way that defies logic, we usually call it a miracle. This week, I want to tell you about my miracle and how it came to be.

Last Monday, my love and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Every five years, we celebrate in style by going on a city trip. This year, we wanted to include our daughter and booked a 5-day trip to Paris and Disneyland Paris. We decided to surprise our daughter by letting Paris be an activity card in her advent calendar and Disneyland another. I loved the preparations, there just was one thing that bothered me, a lot.
During our summer holiday, while running I made a wrong move and hurt my knee. During the last months, I limped on good days and sat on the couch on bad days. I went to see a physiotherapist, but that did not work, even made things worse. Unsure what to do, I meditated on it and knew in my heart that going to a doctor would alleviate the outward symptoms but not address the underlying issue. I had to ‘fix’ this on a different level.
The more Paris approached, the more difficult it became to believe that I would walk the streets of Paris with the loves of my life. I wanted it so much that my mind contracted. As a result, my knee worsened, which led my mind to contract even more, which worsened my knee. It was a downward spiral. Three weeks before our departure, I limped more than ever and at a certain point wasn’t able to normally climb or descend the stairs anymore, walking to the end of our street was too much and standing for more than five minutes in a row quite painful.
Then one Sunday, less than two weeks before our departure, I broke down. I told my love that I was going to ruin our Paris trip and I didn’t know what to do anymore. He just hugged me and told me that I could not ruin it even if I tried. The three of us being in Paris together would be amazing, and everything else would sort itself out as soon as we got there. Then I mustered the courage to ask two dear friends to help me envision walking the streets of Paris with ease. And later that week, I asked you to imagine me laughing, having fun. You did, and it worked miracles.

That week, I was able to let go of the anticipated guilt and fear of not being able to walk in Paris. I decided to focus on feeling good. The first thing I did was to get my mind off my knee, and off Paris. I watched Mister Bean videos for two hours straight. Feeling better, I decided to just enjoy the season. This is my favorite season of the year, and no knee was going to get between me and the spirit of Christmas. I very consciously worked on feeling better and better. That evening, after a series of tapping (EFT) I was high on love and I envisioned the thing I wanted most, to walk the streets of Paris with ease. In advance, I felt gratitude and appreciation for being in Paris with the two people who are dearest to me and showing my daughter one of the cities that I love most, and the exhilaration of running up the stairs of Montmartre. I let it sweep through me, and made it as real as possible. Then after I was ready tapping, I knew with every fiber of my being that it was done. I just knew it.
The next day, still limping, but relaxed and feeling awesome, I needed to go to the shed to get the christmas tree stand and when I got out of the shed, I tripped over a large bamboo stalk with my limping leg, and I felt a short snap in my knee, it hurt. Stress hormones washed through my body and I started to get angry with myself. At that moment, I was able to stop myself. I dropped everything I was doing and sat in a chair for an undefined amount of time, tapping and releasing stress, until I knew again with absolute certainty that everything is always working out for me, that the Universe is conspiring for me. I let go of needing to know how I would walk the streets of Paris with ease and I accepted the mysterious ways of the Universe. And again, I knew viscerally that all was well. When I got up, the pain was gone, and something in my knee was different. I could not yet fully stretch it, but I could walk more easily and I could even lay it flat without hurting it.
Last weekend, I walked the streets of Paris with ease. I strolled through the Louvre museum, climbed the stairs of Montmartre, stood in line for the Eiffel Tower for well over an hour, walked kilometers to get from metro to metro, And if that wasn’t enough, I stood in line for some awesome attractions in Disneyland Paris. Mind you that one and a half week earlier, I had not been able to walk small distances, let alone climb stairs. Literally awesome.

Over the years, Christmas has regained its meaning, richer and deeper than before. I have learned that the love we celebrate at Christmas cannot be found outside of ourselves. We are it. God is longing to be born through us, not just some of us, but all of us. We are pure potential waiting to be born. This Christmas may you give birth to the miracle that you are. Merry Christmas!


You’ve had it all along

17 12 2014



If you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you know that I dutifully work on releasing old belief patterns that aren’t serving me (anymore). During our lifetime, we all have collected a whole series of beliefs that prevent us from being all that we can be. Some of these beliefs were introduced in a big way, but most of them snuck in through the backdoor; we started believing them because everyone else around us believed them. Sadly, humans have a very limited view of themselves; through the ages, we narrowed our sense of potential. It is time for a new Renaissance, a time in which we throw off the shackles of our self-imposed self-image, a time in which we rediscover a completely renewed sense of self, a revolutionary shift in consciousness.
We live miracle-filled lives, but we don’t see that for the simple reason that we don’t focus on the extraordinarity of our lives. We are living, breathing miracles, we swirl through the universe on a spinning blue ball. There is nothing ordinary about our lives. To live miracles, we have to get into that space of awe, into a space of appreciating the magnificence of this thing we call our life. And to consciously co-create miracles, we have to get into a space of joy, into a space of feeling and knowing that we are the miracle.

Consciously or unconsciously, we are creating our reality. We do this through our sustained focus. What we give energy to grows. When we are ready to take the next step in our evolution, when we start taking responsibility for our focus, when we are willing to focus on beauty, on goodness, on peace, on love, on whatever is working, when we are willing to see miracles wherever we cast our eye, we become miracle workers. I don’t mean this in an airy-fairy kind of way. This is a serious intention, this is hard work. In order for our lives to change, we need to do some serious neuro-reprogramming, in which we consciously build new neural pathways. Our brains work with the simple premise that the pathways we use get bigger (what we give energy to grows) while the pathways we don’t use wither. What we want to do, irrespective of logic, is build pathways that make us feel good, that inspire awe and give us joy, because miracles defy logic. It is when we feel joy, awe, appreciation and love that our creative powers soar. We all know that. We deliver our best work when we feel great. The same holds true for the creation of every other aspect of our lives. When we are in that space of greatness and we visualize whatever we want to achieve, we pull it into being. That is step one of creative process. The next step is to trust that all is done on our part, that all we have to do is allow it to come into being by trusting undoubtedly that it will. What I learned last week is that the most challenging part of the process is to let go of any belief that it won’t, to remain in that space of centered trusting that everything is working out for me, even when the contrary seems to be true. Yet in that same week, I also learned that when we are able to side-step our fears and disbeliefs, when we are able to take full responsibility for our focus, and consistently focus on feeling great, miracles do happen. And when they do, we see a glimpse of our true power and we understand that it isn’t the manifestation that is the miracle, but our creation of it. Thank you, for supporting my intention last week. Our shared focus on well-being helped me get into that space where everything is possible. And from there, I was able to easily and effortlessly manifest the thing I wanted most. I am awe-struck. It is like Glinda the Good Witch of the North says in the Wizard of Oz: “You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas. You’ve had it all along.” We all have this amazing power to realize our dreams, we just have to learn it for ourselves.

To be continued. Next week. With photos.


Nothing is more important

10 12 2014




I am learning a new way of being. I have been stumbling and falling. I have been wanting it too much. I know that forcing only is counter-productive, and yet I did it all the time. It was so interwoven in my psyche that I usually only saw it once I  overexerted myself. The object of my wanting was not big, nor was it important in the greater scheme of things, but it was something that I wanted so badly that I was pinching myself off. I was being extremely narrow-minded about it.

It was a small thing and yet the battle that was going on inside of me was of epic proportions. It is what the Harry Potter series is about, and the Lord of the Rings, and the Northern Light Trilogy. It is the battle between fear and love. This past year, I have been surrendering to love, but my fear wouldn’t have it. The fear that lives in all of us wants to control our reality, it wants things to be a certain way, our way, or else. Love, on the other hand, is all about faith and trust. It tells us that when we let go, when we surrender, our life will be better than we could ever imagine. I have been swinging between these two ways of being, one moment I felt ease and trust and the other I felt worry and fear. We cannot fear the object of our wanting not being realized while at the same time trusting that it will come into being in perfect timing.
Over the years, I have learned that love is very effective. Love is alignment with all that we are, it creates oneness and from that space of oneness synchronicities that benefit all. Fear on the other hand is very ineffective and counterproductive, it focuses only on our small selves and all the drama that goes with it. It creates separation and a whole range of dis-ease.

On Sunday evening, I received amazing help from some dear friends, I slept like a baby and when I woke up on Monday, I felt at peace, relaxed and at ease. In the morning, I felt inspired to do a powerful prayer, and after that I felt invincible. Then, somehow, my mind introduced the idea of doing that prayer again, and before I knew it I was thrown out of that circle of peaceful knowing and frantically trying to make it happen through prayer. Now you have to know that prayer only is effective when it comes from a place of faith where you know that when you ask it is given, a place of trust and celebration. Prayer is not effective, even counterproductive, when we ask from a place of neediness. And that is exactly what I did that second, and most certainly that third time.
Yesterday, after a day of trying very hard not to hit myself over the head, trying to hide my head in the sand and pretending that all was well, I felt miserable. Out of it was born the strong desire to feel better. So I did a guided meditation for general well-being, and I felt inspired to do some tapping (EFT). Boy, that felt good. After a few rounds, I had released so much anger and pain and fear that I was feeling high. I slept like a baby again. Today, I am leaning towards feeling good.  I am learning what a powerful focuser and creator I am. It truly is astounding. I am celebrating my creative powers, I am accepting my responsibility for the life I have created up to this moment. I choose to create with love from now on.
From this moment on, I trust that, one way or the other, everything is as it is supposed to be. I will take care of myself. I will focus on feeling good.  I will focus on allowing well-being. I love this time of the year. I love Advent and I love Christmas. I love the anticipation and the celebration. And as much as I celebrate on the outside by decorating my home and preparing amazing dishes, my Christmas always is about the spirit of Christmas. This year more than ever, Christmas is a celebration of the incarnation of Love. We all are Mary pregnant with Christ. Love is gestating inside of us. I am in the process of bearing Love. And the timing could not be more perfect.

For quite some years now, it has been my intention to feel good no matter what, to love life unconditionally, to live unconditional love. The time has come to fully live it. I want to ask you to support me in my intention by closing your eyes, for a minute or so, directing your attention towards me, and in your mind’s eye seeing me laughing, having fun, feeling joy. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what I look like or laugh like, directing your attention is all that matters. Thank you! It is appreciated beyond words. If you have an intention, a desire that is meaningful to you, please share in the comments, it would be my pleasure to support you. I strongly believe in the power of shared intentions. It is a two-way street, it enhances the well-being of both the asker and the supporter. May we all be seen for who we truly are. May we all feel supported in what is meaningful to us.





First creation

3 12 2014



When I first read Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, I was struck by what he called first and second creation. He likened it to creating a blue print of a house and then building it. I had never thought about it before, but it made such sense. It is obvious Covey knew the secret to building a great life, but he did not tell us all he knew about it.

Having a blueprint isn’t enough when creating a great life. When my love and I were in the process of buying our first home, seventeen years ago, we got a luxury folder with not only the layouts of our prospect home, but also artist impressions of both the outside and inside, and even a VHS tape with an animated tour through our soon to be home. We were sold.
In that same way, if we want something, whether it is a new car, a job, or health, we have to sell it to ourselves by making it as tangible as possible. We want to tell it, draw it, imagine it, picture it, sing it, feel it, dance it, live it, be it, breathe it. We want to make our first creation so alive that it evokes the manifestation of it.

Our first creation is faith-based. Only when we have lured ourselves into believing beyond a doubt that our desire will manifest, it will be pulled into being. During first creation, we must find ways to distract ourselves from our doubts long enough to become pregnant with possibility. First creation is a work of the heart. We must find ways to activate our heart energy often and become so infused with her truth that our doubts no longer have power over us. Our hearts will tell us that, no matter how impossible it may seem, it is always possible. Our hearts will inspire a love so strong that we will be able to move mountains
In first creation, there is no making it happen, there is no going out there and doing it. First creation is about making it so real on the inside that its creation will follow effortlessly on the outside. This is the stuff miracles are made off. Most of us don’t make it to the miracle part, but we can become powerful creators nonetheless. Once we shift from trying to make it happen to becoming it and then allowing it to happen, our lives will change dramatically.


picture by Macin Smolinski