Smokey Mirror

Standing at the foot of a 2200-year old Sequoia, taking in its hugeness, I was moved to tears. This tree had risen to the occasion. It had survived forest fires and massive changes to its habitat. Although its crown had  been severed, it was still far over 300 feet.  Touching its bark, feeling its powerful energy, I was deeply aware that we came from the same Source and understood perfectly we were made of the same energy. I felt one with that massive tree, it instilled in me a sense of  a greatness I had not felt before. A humbling experience.

That tree had done nothing but be a Sequoia, its whole life. It started out as the tiniest of seeds, it sprouted and grew toward the light. Time, its nature to always seek the light, and the ingenious evolution of its 12″ thick bark had made that tree one of the largest trees on earth. I realized that I am like that tree. Sure, I will not live to be a 2200 years, but then again I don’t need to either, it is not my nature.  All I need to do is be who I was born to be. By chosing light over darkness anytime, no matter what, I will become all I was meant to be. Just like that Giant Sequoia. 

I felt thrilled, when I first manoeuvred gracefully through traffic by car, having a sense of control over where I was going, feeling that I was really driving the car. Nowadays, it is thrilling to see how the vibration of my thoughts affects my life and what happens when I change the focus of my thoughts to better feeling ones. I feel ever more confident behind the wheel of life, knowing that I can go wherever I want to go.

Some years ago, I learned to be aware of what I’m thinking. Now I’m learning to be aware of what I’m feeling. With every thought or action comes a feeling, and just as with thoughts, there are no good or bad feelings, but some things make me feel better than others. Nowadays, I focus on feeling better.

Imagine you’re in an elevator without buttons, and to go up you have to think the best feeling thought possible at that moment. When you’re feeling down, feelings of bliss are not readily available, but by reaching for a thought that gives relief, and focusing on it, you introduce into your mind thoughts that hold a similar frequency and before you know it you’re up one level. Litterally being uplifted, you can then tap into an even better feeling thought and focus on that for a while, feeling yourself get more lighthearted every time you go up a level.

So yesterday, while chopping veggies, feeling somewhat stressed due to a perceived lack of time, I chose not to mind the time and instead enjoy chopping. I was only going up one thought a time, but before I knew it, I was delighted about cutting vegetables. The more I loved it, the easier it got. I loved how heavy the huge knife weighed in my hand. I loved how it sliced effortless through a thick orange carrot, how the slices were even and the slicing was fast. I loved the deep red color of the bell pepper and how its juice spread this fresh smell unique to peppers . I loved the gorgeous shiny, purple skin of the egg plant and how I cut it into perfect 1cm cubes. I even loved the unevenness of the sweet potato, providing some wonderful contrast.

Especially when you’re somewhere below ground level, it may take some time before you get the elevator to go up and stay up. But with practice, you’re bound to get better at it, riding the elevator with ease, riding it for the pure fun of riding it. May your elevator rides be as exhilarating as chopping veggies.

This weekend someone asked me, suppose you could go back in time, what age would you want to be again? To her 25 seemed ideal. And she seemed somewhat disbelieving, when I said I could not imagine a better age than the one I had right now.
At the age of 27, I made the conscious decision to grow into who I am meant to be. In the ten years that have passed, I have allowed my life to unfold by accepting the lessons it presented. Going back in time would undo all the lessons I have learned so far, and there were many.
I have learned that periods of growth are never linear, always chaotic. For they hold a paradigm shift, life will never be the same again once you pass the point of no return.  You’re giving birth to a new self and as in real labour, there is no going back. And even though these periods are marked by feelings of uncertainty, because our life or our view of life is being turned upside down and inside out, and we feel resistance because we want our lives to remain the same, they deepen our understanding and enrich our lives. 
The nature of life is change. This moment will pass, and so will the next and the next. I am now, in this moment, a culmination of my past and the origin of my future, a cradle for infinite possibilities. It is only in being present right now right here, that I experience life. Trading this moment for another would mean that I miss out on the only life I have, now. I wouldn’t want to miss that for anything in the world.

As long as I can remember, I have craved love. More specifically, I have craved feeling loved. And from some people more than others. Yesterday, I realized, this craving and the hurt it causes simply is a case of overextended expectations and the consequential dissapointment. It is not only unreasonable on my behalf, it most of all is very deceptive. Unconsciously believing I can only feel loved when others express their love for me. Expecting them to express this love in ways that make me feel loved. The ultimate deception being I cannot give myself all the love I need to feel completely loved.

I emanated from the same Source from which everything comes into being. I am One with all that is. The Love I feel comes from the same Source of being from which I  was born. I am Love. How can I not be? The Love I feel from others is this Love reflected back at me. How can I not feel loved? Only in denying this Love, in disregarding the fullness of who I am, I feel unloved. Feeling completely loved is born in consciousness, in the full acceptance of self.

It is as if the light has been switched on in the dark. A radical change in perception. What seemed gloomy before, now has a shine to it. A miracle. Had I not been reading Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, I would not have understood how my sense of being could have tipped so suddenly. The subtitle ‘How little things can make a big difference’ says it all. The book is a biography of the phenomenon that trends don’t incline or decline linearly, but tip suddenly. This tipping point most likely isn’t the result of some major event, but of small events that create a kind of domino-effect, for better or worse.

Nothing grand has happened to me over the last days, just some minor things that made me tip. Tuesday, I felt something I can only describe as realignment, fitting together seamlessly again, not fragmented anymore. Sitting on the couch, looking up from the book as I do sometimes to watch my garden, the green leaves of the ivy looked brighter, the dead leaves of the beech-hedge seemed alive and even my rather dull shed had its own beauty. I felt like myself again, just like that. The same and yet different, a new and improved me, version 17.1. Less judgemental, more compassionate, stronger, wiser, humbled and grateful. For no special reason, all of a sudden, I was aware of the happiness in between, the happiness that is, no matter what. After a long period of struggling, I came home to myself.

I don’t know what made me tip. Was it the wonderful conversation with a client, the renewed decision to try to be more open and aware, listening to an interview with Jon Kabat-Zinn, going for a walk in the park, or accepting an invitation by a dear colleague?  I know that all by themselves these things would not have had a spectacular effect, merely a small boost, but together, at the right time in a slowly inclining trend, they added up to a revolution.  My revolution. It is a great lesson not to wait for that big thing to happen, but to just try to make little changes for the better.  And before you know it, big change will come your way.

Vampires they’re called, Nazgûl, Spectres of Indifference, Harpies or Dementors. They are the un-dead. Fictional entities that feed upon your very essence and leave you lifeless, that feed upon your misery and taunt you with everything you ever did wrong. In their presence, you feel surrounded by the darkness of your deepest fears. All the light seems gone and it feels impossible to think happy thoughts. This is our ego at its worst.

I know the pain and fear I’m feeling are a figment of my ego, but that doesn’t make it less real. I feel as if I am Nothing. It is the worst feeling I can imagine. The pain is so dark, I have no words to describe it. I have felt this pain before. Ten years ago, I would have done anything to make it go away.

Although difficultly, these dark creatures can be fended off. Of the fictional heroes that succeed in doing so, Harry Potter and Lyra Silvertongue are my favorite. Love is their primary motive. Humaneness and courage are their main assets. To me, their struggle with the dark side holds valuable lessons. To protect himself, Harry creates in his mind a picture of his happiest memory to produce a Patronus, a shield of positivity on which Dementors can feed. And in her despair, the not always truthful Lyra learns that Harpies, who seemingly feed on our misery, will actually feed on any story, if true.

The pain is as intense as it was ten years ago, but I am not the same. I am stronger, wiser. I now know the Light that is my essence, that is Consciousness, that is Love. Where this Light shines there can be no darkness. However difficult, I need to hold in my heart and mind feelings and thoughts that nurture my soul. Most of all I need to be bold enough to tell my ego the true story of me, which mainly is a story of love, courage and creativity.

Now is my time to really step up for myself, to feel the Love that I am and to let my Light shine.

2009 was my year of thruth. I got knocked over by something that was bigger than me. I quickly came to realize what the challenge was about, but there was no way I could fathom how deep I would have to go. All my experiences were designed to teach me one thing: to be true to my self. Feeling worthy, adhering worth to what I feel to be true, over what others say or do. I thought I had conquered the fear of unworthiness some time ago, but it seems I had only cut down the tree, not uprooted it entirely. Faced with my worst demon, the fear started budding again. For almost 30 years, on some level, I have felt guilt for not being good enough, blamed myself for everything that went wrong, tried to fix everything that did not work by adapting myself. No more. I’ve finally chosen to confront the fear I have carried with me most of my life. Today, no matter what, I simply am me. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. When something is off, I still feel this need to make everything work, to be a ‘better’ person, but unless it is I who created the problem in the first place, I don’t do a thing.  In the process, I think I lost a friend or two and that hurts. It hurts because it confirms what my ego believes to be true: I am simply not good enough. It hurts so much, that it almost feels impossible not to adapt myself into that person I think others would like me to be. Almost, I said, for I feel I’m getting stronger every time I stay close to myself. 
Although I hope I will never relive another 2009, I am wiser and stronger because of it. I’m  ready to tackle the New Year knowing that whatever it will bring, I will be okay.

Looking back, I see this confident and vibrant woman. She stands tall, she radiates peace and love. She is present and aware, open to all this world has to offer without judgement. I look at her in amazement, in awe. That woman is me, one year ago. I miss her. I need her to tell me that everything will be allright, that she’s still here somewhere in this mess. I need her to guide me back to where I was, for somehow I got lost, trapped in traumatic memories, reliving a painful past.

Being 9 again, bullied by who I think are my friends. Not able to understand how their friendship can turn into anger and vice versa, just like that. Always trying to be a better friend, always trying to gain their approval, their love. Almost 30 years later that trap still works. I still crave love and approval. I still fear rejection. And I still meet the same challenge.

My wise self tells me everything is allright. She tells me this is exactly what I need in order to heal.  She tells me that everything that doesn’t root in love is part of the illusion. She tells me that I am loved, that I am whole, that I am part of God’s perfection. She tells me she’s always there to guide me and protect me. And, what I need to hear most, she tells she will rise from this illusion, stronger and wiser, more beautiful than ever, like a fenix from the ashes.

With spiritual practice, my life has got quieter and quieter over the last years. Quiet to the point, where life seemed to stand still. I lived from day to day, from moment to moment with no expectations for the future. This was a welcome change to expecting only the worse for myself, not being able to believe on a very deep level great things could ever happen to me. I loved my quiet life, but at the same time felt some resistance, knowing something was missing.

Last week, while listening to Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks, I felt a tingling sensation in my spine, getting stronger with every passing second. It was not an unfamiliar feeling as I recognized it from a long gone past. All of a sudden, I was about 5 years old again, feeling exited about something that was about to happen. I had not felt this exited in a long time. Always expecting the worse, there was nothing to be exited about. And living from moment to moment, renouncing the future, being exited about a future event did not seem to fit the scope. 

Feeling that tingling sensation, feeling more alive than I had in a very long time, I understood that this was what had been missing from my life. In that moment, I grasped the concept of expecting without expectations. Being here in this moment, creating in my mind a strong image of something wonderful, believing this is possible for me, feeling the exitement of what is about to happen and allowing it to unfold at its own pace, not resisting the flow of Go(o)d to me. Being careful what I wish for, as I’m starting to manifest at light speed.

When you read my last blog entry, you may have felt (somewhat) uncomfortable, not knowing what to think of it. That’s okay, I can completely relate to that, really. I did not seek this experience, but it did happen. Instead of resisting (mind), I allowed (heart) it to happen. Instead of being sceptical (mind), I accepted (heart) this experience as a learning opportunity. I cannot prove (mind) what has happened to me, yet I know (heart) it to be true. However surreal, however illogical (mind) this experience may seem,  it has worked miracles (heart). Gone are the feelings of inadequacy and the deep fear of failure I have battled with my whole life. I am at peace.

I’d like to invite you to open up to the possibility that things are different than you think they are. You have learned to filter all that comes in through your senses with your mind, your preconceived mind that is. You perceive the world as you perceive yourself, it’s the projection of your own mind. The voice in your head is full of critique, telling you you’re not good enough, beautiful, successful, or rich enough. It judges you as you judge others. I know that voice all to well. Some time ago, not liking the negative interpretations my mind provided, I decided not to listen to it anymore.  I forewent my mind, reinventing my world as I went along. Asking myself with anything that happened how I truly felt about it, what I knew to be true. Shutting out my mind, I learned to listen through my heart, seeing life from a completely different angle.

You may not be used to the loving and wise voice of your heart, but with some practice it is easy to get used to. You know it, when you feel it. She will tell you everything is all right. That you are perfect as you are. Your heart is Love, pure unconditional Love.  It’s in a mother’s love for her child, in the connection you feel with people around you, in the awe for a whirling butterfly. It can be found in praise and gratitude, in truth and acceptance, in joy and deep belly laughter. But most of all, you will find it in the silence in this moment. Just be quiet for a few minutes a day, breath in, breath out, don’t mind your thoughts and feel the presence of Love within you.

To help you grasp the idea of being silent, here’s a class with Jon Kabat-Zinn Ph.D. This Professor of Medicine emeritus is internationally known for his work as a scientist, writer, and as meditation teacher engaged in bringing mindfulness into the mainstream of medicine and society.

I’ve been raised in a rather orthodoxe christian family, but have chosen my own path, several years ago. Since, I have embraced the idea of reincarnation of the soul, but apart from reading Many lives, many masters by Brian Weiss, I have never had much interest in making a connection with spirits or knowing about former lives. I was convinced that if and when it would be of interest to my healing in this lifetime, it would come to me. And two weeks ago, it did.

Over the years, I’ve come to know pain as a perfect guide to know the truth about myself. From Gary Zukav, I learned that whenever you react out of proportion to what has happened previously, you’re unconsciously experiencing pain. When, after a while, you start recognizing a pattern, instead of reacting, you have to remain still, feel the pain and bring awareness to it. Most likely, in your mind, you’ll go back to the time and place where the pain originated and by simply holding it in your mind and forgiving yourself for what you didn’t know at the time, you give it a place and the pain is gone. This way, I have unraveled many childhood traumas, getting calmer and more peaceful every time.

Two weeks ago, after a discussion with a friend, I started experiencing physical pain.  That evening, as I went to bed everything was hurting. Laying bed, I listened to my body. Giving space for consciousness to emerge, there suddenly was a heavy weight on my heart and I felt as if I was being strangled. What is happening, I asked. The answer came instantly. You have been strangled by someone you trusted, in a previous life. There were no particulars, I had no remembrance, but I simply knew this to be the truth.  A few days later, while meeting with that same friend, I felt sicker than before and in addition I was experiencing enormous back aches. My friend commented that I was walking as if I was pregnant. Without knowing so, I was. Again, when I was ready to confront the pain, I layed down on my bed. Instantaneously, the pain in my back returned and intensified within seconds. As I brought it to my awareness, and asked why my back was hurting so severly, I learned that I had been strangled not only by someone I trusted, but by the father of the baby I was carrying. All of a sudden, everything fell into place. It made complete sense why all of my life, I have had such a hard time trusting myself with anything.

Having forgiven myself for that error in judgement, I finally trust myself and I have lost the suffocating fear of making errors in judgement, which I unsuccesfully tried to overcome for years. Today, listening to my body, I realized the exhaustion I’ve been experiencing this week is being caused by related feelings of anger and loss, which I need to release and mourn. However, for energy to return,  I most of all need the healing power of forgiveness to take away the blockage that is obstructing Life’s energy to flow through me freely.  Although incomprehensible, I am immensely grateful for this experience and the opportunity it has given me to grow into who I’m meant to be in this lifetime. Amen.

I used to live by rules. Lots and lots of rules. My rules. And 98% of the time, I would not sin against them. Nowadays, I do things a little different. I’m leaning into it.

Leaning into means not forcing yourself. It means going with the flow, living from the inside out, letting consciousness guide you. For me, it most of all means living without self-judgment and guilt because of the other 2%.

Instead of saying, I can’t have cookies, I’ll have a cookie and create a space of awareness around it. I’ll be conscious about how it got into my mouth. And I’ll listen to what my body tells me. Guess what? It seems I don’t like cookies that much. I’ve discovered most cookies don’t taste like anything. It doesn’t feel great to eat them and I don’t feel particularly well after I’ve eaten them. I still eat cookies, though. Some because they are a feast for the tastebuds and some out of habit, and that’s okay. But, as consciousness is ever evolving, one day, somewhere in the future, my body will probably have lost the need for any unrefined food  And, to my partner’s big regret, the same will hold true for meat.

Already as a child,  I was taken with the idea of being an instrument of God. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to let him work through me. I prayed for this incessantly. I tried hard to be a good person, being honest and kind, helping whereever my help was needed or wanted. Most of all I tried very hard to find the right job for me. In this job, I imagined I would make a contribution to mankind by using my godgiven talents. I tried so many things but nothing worked. At a certain point, I just didn’t know what to do any more. I had almost given up.

Only recently, I figured out where I went wrong all these years.  Growing up, I had made up all kinds of ideas on what it means to live a life of service, what is useful and meaningful, how to make a contribution, and which talents are needed.  I wanted nothing more than to be an instrument of God, I prayed incessantly, but I never heard his answers, because I had not learned to listen to his voice. All these years, I had listened to my mind instead of with my heart.

Listening with my heart, hearing the whispers, I’ve learned that all I need to do to make this Universe a better place, is to be me. Fully and completely me. I’m learning to do what my heart urges me to do. I feel like I have arrived, as there is nowhere I ‘d rather be, nothing I ‘d rather do, no one I’d rather be than who, what and where I am today. I trust that when I do what my heart tells me to do, the Universe is unfolding through me.

I am learning to go with the flow. Taking the path of least resistance. Doing what is natural to me. By recognizing what I’m feeling. By being aware of the level of energy that is flowing through me.  Understanding that the nature of my feelings and the level of energy I experience are one. 

I am learning to live on love. Taking the path of least resistance. Doing what is natural to me. By practicing gratitude and generosity. By recognizing Love will guide me, it will lead the way.  Understanding that Love is the highest form of energy, never resisting, always giving. 

I am learning to be one with the Universe. Taking the path of least resistance. Doing what is natural to me. By celebrating the greatness of all things created. By being open to all the Universe has to offer. Understanding that the Universe creates through me, using my body and mind as a vessel for creation.

Hidden in the chaos of these past weeks was the greatest gift of all. Buried under layers of pain, my soul’s intention was waiting to be found. Use this lifetime to become whole. Accept the truth of who you are.  Be true to the essence of yourself. Live with integrity and everything else will fall into place.

These last weeks, I learned that there is no wrong and there is no right, there is just the way things are. My emotions tell me one thing, my mind another and in-between on a higher level resides the awareness that tells me ‘that it is all right not to know, that I will find my way, that everything will work out just fine.’ 

When in stress, stop fighting. Stop resisting. 
Take a deep breath. Connect to your breath.
Be grateful for it to flow through your body,
to supply oxygen, to give Life.

Right here, right now, embrace Life,
your life, your thoughts, your feelings.
Accept your reality for what it is.
Know that everything will be all right.

All you need to grow into you,
you have right here, right now.
Take a deep breath. Connect to your soul,
to this part of you that is eternal and wise.

Let your heart and mind be filled
with what your soul has to offer,
wisdom, courage and faith in abundance.
Feel that everything is and will always be all right.

Then you do what needs to be done.
Life will lead you.
Life will leave you stronger and wiser.
You will be all right

Many years ago, I was enlightened by hearing dr Stephen Covey say ‘love is a verb’. Love is something you do. This was an utterly alien notion to me at the time, but I was willing to give it a go. Being desillusioned by the fairy-tale concept of love that makes great movies but awful lives, and with my marriage on a slope, I committed myself to little acts of love on a daily basis. Thinking of my husband in a loving way, waking him with a cup of coffee and a newspaper, sending him an e-card at work, cooking a meal he loves. These simple actions have changed my perspective on marital bliss a 180 degrees. By loving each other and by extending that love, we have created a strong and lasting love. Our life together is not hollywood material, but our love is the stable background to everything else that goes on in our lives.

The same is true for happiness. Happiness is something you do. Being miserable, and with my life on the line, I decided I’d better find happiness in my life and be grateful for it, soon. At the end of every day, I would write down 5 things I was grateful for, and at least two of them had to be about me. At first, it was so hard. All day long I would be in alert mode, scanning my surroundings for something I could be grateful for. As with everything, finding happiness in my own life got easier with practice. Looking at my life differently, I learned to find happiness in the smallest of things, birds singing, clean sheets, a stranger’s kindness, the sparkle in my eyes, the flexibility of my mind. Nowadays, I only write the list now and then to remind myself of its purpose.  It’s a simple list, but it has turned around my perspective on life. By bringing happiness, gratitude and awe to everything I do, I have created an eternal source of happiness in my life. Make no mistake, I have my off days, but happiness is always within hand’s reach.

Do you love Life? For better, for worse? Are you grateful? In good and bad times? Are you happy? No matter what? What if loving Life unconditionally creates happiness?

I have learned that accepting all its lessons with grace, creates maximum opportunity for gratitude. Being grateful for everything that comes your way creates abundance in unimaginable ways. Recognizing the abundance in everything ruins the illusion of loss and scarcity. Without fear, true happiness will be yours, it will be the undercurrent in your life.

When you love Life as it is, you will know, again, the unshakable core of your being.

Change doesn’t just happen. It isn’t even something you do. For change to happen, we need to understand that happiness and abundance are available to all of us. That each and everyone of us has the power to recreate their lives.  We can be agents of change. You and me. Even in circumstances that are seemingly beyond our control, we can choose how we react. Change happens when you and I decide to take full responsibility for our lives.  When you and I decide to think and behave in a constructive and effective way. When we allow ourselves to develop our full potential. When we  allow ourselves to be who we are meant to be. Change happens when you and I believe we have the power to create a different reality. Then, together, we will create a new earth.

Every question that truly matters to you, will be answered. You may find the answer in a different place, through a different voice or in a different package than you expected. The answer may be ‘no’ or ‘later’. Ask anyway. Ask and let go. Of your wants, of your expectations, of your needs, even your need for an answer to that question. Ask and be ready to receive. You may not receive an answer now, not tomorrow, in a week or even a year. Ask and know that the answer is already there. Be still, listen.

Understand that everything comes from one source. Everything is, has been and will always be there. You are part of a timeless and giving Universe. Ask with faith and passion and your consciousness will expand to the origin of everything, the space before creation, where all potential lies dormant, where time and space are irrelevant. The answer to your question was there all along. Open your heart and mind to all the possible answers the Universe has to offer.  Be be grateful for the opportunity that will present itself.

What if life is perfect? What if, no matter what it looks like, your life is perfect?

I know life can seem far from perfect. It can seem chaotic, troublesome and painful. It can even seem not worth living.

Still. What if life is perfect? What if circumstance is only external appearance? What if this day, this hour, this moment right now can teach you all you need to know to grow into who you really are, to feel whole again?

What I know for sure. When you see life as an opportunity for growth, Life becomes meaningful. When you look at what life has to offer, Life becomes abundant. When you find the blessing in a disaster, Life becomes peaceful.  When you accept life as it is, Life becomes perfect.

Jesus, the Buddha, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa, the guy on the street,  you, me, your crappy boss, the jerk that cut you off in trafic,  the triple murderer on death row and even Hitler, we’re all made of the same light. We are radiant beings. We are meant to shine.

Some people shine so brightly, they are a shining example to others. We are drawn to these people because of their healing light. We want to be with them because through their lives we recognize our own potential greatnes.

The light of some people, however,  is so obscured it seems extinct. We instinctively avoid these people. It doesn’t feel good to be around them. Their presence depletes us. They rob us of light. 

Whichever quality your light may have, know that it is always there. It may be weak, obscured by past trauma, by lies and shame, but it is always there. Whatever your story, know that you’re not broken. You are whole. You are light. You are meant to shine.

Just shine your light as bright as you can and your light will grow. Shine your light and it’s truth will set you free. Accept it’s invitation to go through the dark into the  light. Let it lead you through your pain and you will be healed. The veils that shroud your light will be lifted, if you consciously be the best you can.

For the greater part of my life, I put my life on hold, looking for meaning. This past year, I finally learned that in order to find meaning,  I first have to give meaning. What you give, you get. It’s as easy as that. This rule applies to people as well as life in general. The energy and attention you give, will determine the quality of the outcome.

Life’s beauty and unlimited potential are available to me always. All I need is to be present. Be prepared to meet Life in everyone I encounter. Be willing to see Life in everything I come across. Life is omnipresent. To acknowledge its presence in everything, even the seemingly unimportant, creates meaning in unimaginable ways.  Namaste.

There have been times that I my body didn’t function as I would like it to. Not being able to take part in the daily bustle of life. Learning to give in, stop resisting and find fulfilment in days passing by with nothing done. Finding the strength to give my best despite being in pain and worn out. Embracing life as it is, being truly grateful for all the things I could do. Not taking the seemingly ordinary for granted.

Nowadays, I feel the energy move through my body, fueling my thoughts, energizing my moves. I feel renewed, having a deeper appreciation for the simplest things, like waking up refreshed, being able to go for a walk or even doing something as mundane as weeding or cleaning.

I have learned that doing and being are one, two extremes of a continuum. When done with attention, there is doing in being and being in doing. When I let go of any resistance I feel and simply go with the flow, doing and being get lifted to a higher level. Cleaning becomes as fulfilling as sitting in the sun. Life has never been this peaceful.

 Years of saying to myself ’This is not personal’ when people (or life for that matter) were behaving differently than I wanted has opened up my life in ways I could  have never imagined. I have learned that the fruit of not taking life personally is to live free of expectations. This, to me, is nothing short of a miracle.

Not expecting people to be or situations to unfold a certain way. Being open to the infinite possibilities of this moment. Knowing the outcome will be good no matter what. Trusting it will be exactly what I need right now. Seeing the perfection in everything. Being grateful, always. Knowing that I am blessed. And so are you.

I believe everything is made of energy. Through this energy we are all interconnected. You are part of me and I am part of you. For this reason, I am responsible for the energy I emit. I can choose for it to be poisonous or healing, to be angry or loving. I can choose to give or take, to fuel or drain you.  

I believe my energy can be bright, my presence a loving awareness, my intentions pure like the Light that is within all of us. I believe I am a Light, meant to shine like a beacon. And so are you. So are you!

Acceptance of any unwanted situation leads to the peace of mind one needs to get out of that situation. Acceptance brings about clarity, a goal and the power to act. I may not like where I am today, but such thoughts will not help me get out of here. Instead I try to focus on what is good, to give my best at any given moment. Because it is only in this moment, right now, that I have the power to take one step in the right direction. It may be a small step, and that’s okay. Even the smallest step, when repeated, leads to the promised land.  

Over the last year, I’ve become a firm believer that my thoughts and emotions create my reality. A few weeks ago, I learned an even deeper truth.

During my time in France, I learned that one man on our campsite was suffering from colon cancer. I honestly was perplexed as the man in question seemed the healthiest of all. Almost automatically, I started thinking of him as a man with cancer.  And it felt wrong. All of a sudden, I knew it would have been better for this man if I had not known about his illness. It would be best if I perpetuated to see him as this healthy man I had imagined him to be.

With children it is true that they live up to your beliefs.  They are formed through the energy you invest in them emotionally, the deep beliefs you hold true, positive and negative. I am convinced it is the same with everything else.  With my thoughts and emotions, I not only create my reality, I create our reality, I co-create your reality. I’d better make sure I envision the best for us, for you.

As for the man on our campsite, whenever he crosses my mind, I try to think of him as the man who’s caravan was rammed by an other caravan, the youngest of two brothers, the man who took his bike in the morning to fetch a pain, a healthy man. Period.

I just spent three wonderful weeks at the French Riviera with my partner and daughter. We didn’t do much. We went to the beach occasionally, we ate fresh French bread and stinky cheeses, drank some yummy rosés, and we read some thrillers. But mostly, we ran after our one and a half year old daughter who was exploring a new and exiting world. She even learned to say ‘bonjour’ and ‘au revoir’. Needless to say, the French adored her.

I even learned some precious lessons these past weeks, which I will be sharing with you shortly. Hope to hear from you again soon. With love, Norea

P.S. One of my posts - Question everything - has been spammed enormously. I have taken it off the air. Grant, my apologies for the inconvenience!