Smokey Mirror

Change doesn’t just happen. It isn’t even something you do. For change to happen, we need to understand that happiness and abundance are available to all of us. That each and everyone of us has the power to recreate their lives.  We can be agents of change. You and me. Even in circumstances that are seemingly beyond our control, we can choose how we react. Change happens when you and I decide to take full responsibility for our lives.  When you and I decide to think and behave in a constructive and effective way. When we allow ourselves to develop our full potential. When we  allow ourselves to be who we are meant to be. Change happens when you and I believe we have the power to create a different reality. Then, together, we will create a new earth.

Every question that truly matters to you, will be answered. You may find the answer in a different place, through a different voice or in a different package than you expected. The answer may be ‘no’ or ‘later’. Ask anyway. Ask and let go. Of your wants, of your expectations, of your needs, even your need for an answer to that question. Ask and be ready to receive. You may not receive an answer now, not tomorrow, in a week or even a year. Ask and know that the answer is already there. Be still, listen.

Understand that everything comes from one source. Everything is, has been and will always be there. You are part of a timeless and giving Universe. Ask with faith and passion and your consciousness will expand to the origin of everything, the space before creation, where all potential lies dormant, where time and space are irrelevant. The answer to your question was there all along. Open your heart and mind to all the possible answers the Universe has to offer.  Be be grateful for the opportunity that will present itself.

What if life is perfect? What if, no matter what it looks like, your life is perfect?

I know life can seem far from perfect. It can seem chaotic, troublesome and painful. It can even seem not worth living.

Still. What if life is perfect? What if circumstance is only external appearance? What if this day, this hour, this moment right now can teach you all you need to know to grow into who you really are, to feel whole again?

What I know for sure. When you see life as an opportunity for growth, Life becomes meaningful. When you look at what life has to offer, Life becomes abundant. When you find the blessing in a disaster, Life becomes peaceful.  When you accept life as it is, Life becomes perfect.

Jesus, the Buddha, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa, the guy on the street,  you, me, your crappy boss, the jerk that cut you off in trafic,  the triple murderer on death row and even Hitler, we’re all made of the same light. We are radiant beings. We are meant to shine.

Some people shine so brightly, they are a shining example to others. We are drawn to these people because of their healing light. We want to be with them because through their lives we recognize our own potential greatnes.

The light of some people, however,  is so obscured it seems extinct. We instinctively avoid these people. It doesn’t feel good to be around them. Their presence depletes us. They rob us of light. 

Whichever quality your light may have, know that it is always there. It may be weak, obscured by past trauma, by lies and shame, but it is always there. Whatever your story, know that you’re not broken. You are whole. You are light. You are meant to shine.

Just shine your light as bright as you can and your light will grow. Shine your light and it’s truth will set you free. Accept it’s invitation to go through the dark into the  light. Let it lead you through your pain and you will be healed. The veils that shroud your light will be lifted, if you consciously be the best you can.

For the greater part of my life, I put my life on hold, looking for meaning. This past year, I finally learned that in order to find meaning,  I first have to give meaning. What you give, you get. It’s as easy as that. This rule applies to people as well as life in general. The energy and attention you give, will determine the quality of the outcome.

Life’s beauty and unlimited potential are available to me always. All I need is to be present. Be prepared to meet Life in everyone I encounter. Be willing to see Life in everything I come across. Life is omnipresent. To acknowledge its presence in everything, even the seemingly unimportant, creates meaning in unimaginable ways.  Namaste.

There have been times that I my body didn’t function as I would like it to. Not being able to take part in the daily bustle of life. Learning to give in, stop resisting and find fulfilment in days passing by with nothing done. Finding the strength to give my best despite being in pain and worn out. Embracing life as it is, being truly grateful for all the things I could do. Not taking the seemingly ordinary for granted.

Nowadays, I feel the energy move through my body, fueling my thoughts, energizing my moves. I feel renewed, having a deeper appreciation for the simplest things, like waking up refreshed, being able to go for a walk or even doing something as mundane as weeding or cleaning.

I have learned that doing and being are one, two extremes of a continuum. When done with attention, there is doing in being and being in doing. When I let go of any resistance I feel and simply go with the flow, doing and being get lifted to a higher level. Cleaning becomes as fulfilling as sitting in the sun. Life has never been this peaceful.

 Years of saying to myself ’This is not personal’ when people (or life for that matter) were behaving differently than I wanted has opened up my life in ways I could  have never imagined. I have learned that the fruit of not taking life personally is to live free of expectations. This, to me, is nothing short of a miracle.

Not expecting people to be or situations to unfold a certain way. Being open to the infinite possibilities of this moment. Knowing the outcome will be good no matter what. Trusting it will be exactly what I need right now. Seeing the perfection in everything. Being grateful, always. Knowing that I am blessed. And so are you.

I believe everything is made of energy. Through this energy we are all interconnected. You are part of me and I am part of you. For this reason, I am responsible for the energy I emit. I can choose for it to be poisonous or healing, to be angry or loving. I can choose to give or take, to fuel or drain you.  

I believe my energy can be bright, my presence a loving awareness, my intentions pure like the Light that is within all of us. I believe I am a Light, meant to shine like a beacon. And so are you. So are you!

Acceptance of any unwanted situation leads to the peace of mind one needs to get out of that situation. Acceptance brings about clarity, a goal and the power to act. I may not like where I am today, but such thoughts will not help me get out of here. Instead I try to focus on what is good, to give my best at any given moment. Because it is only in this moment, right now, that I have the power to take one step in the right direction. It may be a small step, and that’s okay. Even the smallest step, when repeated, leads to the promised land.  

Over the last year, I’ve become a firm believer that my thoughts and emotions create my reality. A few weeks ago, I learned an even deeper truth.

During my time in France, I learned that one man on our campsite was suffering from colon cancer. I honestly was perplexed as the man in question seemed the healthiest of all. Almost automatically, I started thinking of him as a man with cancer.  And it felt wrong. All of a sudden, I knew it would have been better for this man if I had not known about his illness. It would be best if I perpetuated to see him as this healthy man I had imagined him to be.

With children it is true that they live up to your beliefs.  They are formed through the energy you invest in them emotionally, the deep beliefs you hold true, positive and negative. I am convinced it is the same with everything else.  With my thoughts and emotions, I not only create my reality, I create our reality, I co-create your reality. I’d better make sure I envision the best for us, for you.

As for the man on our campsite, whenever he crosses my mind, I try to think of him as the man who’s caravan was rammed by an other caravan, the youngest of two brothers, the man who took his bike in the morning to fetch a pain, a healthy man. Period.

I just spent three wonderful weeks at the French Riviera with my partner and daughter. We didn’t do much. We went to the beach occasionally, we ate fresh French bread and stinky cheeses, drank some yummy rosés, and we read some thrillers. But mostly, we ran after our one and a half year old daughter who was exploring a new and exiting world. She even learned to say ‘bonjour’ and ‘au revoir’. Needless to say, the French adored her.

I even learned some precious lessons these past weeks, which I will be sharing with you shortly. Hope to hear from you again soon. With love, Norea

P.S. One of my posts - Question everything - has been spammed enormously. I have taken it off the air. Grant, my apologies for the inconvenience!

Whether I’m 35, 62 or 89, I will always be a work in progress. I may, at times, feel like I’ve reached my destination. Until one day, I feel I need to move on. The change may be catapulted by some crisis or may have evolved slowly. When I do, I know I am only passing by. There are no final destinations, only stopovers.  Periods of growth alternated by periods of maturation.

My life is very quiet now.  I am content living my life. Everything is equally important. It feels like nothing is going on and at the same time I’m living the most precious life possible. For the first time, I’m consciously mastering a new stage in my life, preparing for something new to come. New periods of growth will come, when my life will feel chaotic, when I don’t know what to expect next. I will welcome these times, knowing nothing ever really changes. With every challenge, I have the opportunity to grow into me. With every stage, I become more transparent, a clearer manifestation of Life.

Ever heard about the signal-to-noise ratio? It’s a technical concept used to compare the level of a certain signal to the level of background noise. The higher the ratio, the clearer the signal gets through. To get a higher ratio you add signal and you remove noise. The same applies to life.  

To optimize your SNR, you need to amplify what’s essential and eliminate what’s not. Of course, you could add more effective habits and remove the less effective ones. But I suggest you simply add some being and if desired remove some doing. When you add only a few minutes of being a day, what’s important to you will stand out more easily. Being works both ways. It tones down life’s background noise so this  no longer obscures the signal you are desperately trying to decipher.  And it amplifies the Universe’s unique signal to you, so you’ll know who you are and what you need to do.

In the past two weeks, I have learned there is a big difference between accepting life as it is and being at peace with it. With acceptance comes the power to let go, the seed that grows peace. With peace comes the power to fully embrace Life, the seed of Love. 

I had so many questions, now they’re gone. I’m left with the deep knowing that all is as it should be. 
I was haunted by the shortness of life, now it’s gone. As I breath in, I feel my lungs expand, I feel time expand. I have learned time is timeless in this moment.
For so long I fretted about the past and worried about the future, now they’re gone. No longer omnipresent, they have their place in time. The past has been archived and the future is open to be lived.

I am living through the universe and the universe is living through me, expanding every time I choose to grow. Intricately interwoven, not defined by time or space we travel together on this journey without beginning or end. I feel a deep love for all that is.  A love that is universal. A love that grows as I grow. The love that I am.

‘Don’t mind what other people say,  just do what you feel you need to do to get better, even when that means sitting on the couch for the entire day, you sit there. You know what is best for you. ’, my father said to me when I was 22 and burned-out.

What I did not know back then was that this philosophy applies to all of life. It was only last Saterday that it hit me like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden, I knew deep inside that everything was as it should be. I felt it in my core. I was completely at peace with myself and my life. I saw the perfection in everything.

For the first time in my life, I really don’t mind what other people say or think, for only I know how to live my best life. This week that means enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Making an hour long bike ride every morning with my daughter through blossomming orchards stopping often to look at newborn lambs, over the dike watching the ships pass by. Seeing the world through the eyes of my one-year old, gives me the opportunity to see more easily what the heart knows as her eyes are not yet blinded by the mind.

I thank the Universe that she was led my way. I’m grateful for the loving guide she is.

I believe Life is a spiritual journey. Everything I encounter on my way has the potential to guide me to my true self. The seemingly insignificant as well as the monumental in appearance, they both are equal opportunities for growth.

‘Can  I be the space for this?’ I ask myself when I feel resistance. Can I accept the opportunity Life is offering me? Am I willing to be taught? Am I open to this present moment?

‘Can I be the space for this?’ means I am fully present. I feel how my body reacts to what is happening. I do not try to avoid what I’m feeling. I try to be transparent, let the feeling pass through me.

‘Can I be the space for this?’ means I react from a space of acceptance. I accept the situation as it is. I accept the consequences of my past actions and future reactions. I accept Life is asking something of me, now.

‘Can I be the space for this?’ means I accept the gift of Life, whatever form it takes. When I’m grateful for everything that comes my way, when I allow all there is in my life to be there,  when I don’t resist life, but accept it for what it is, then even the seemingly small has transformative power.

Nowadays, I simply try to do one thing at a time.

When I’m washing my hands I try to focus on doing just that, washing my hands. Not thinking about everything I will do after I’ve washed my hands, not chewing on the remark you made earlier today. Just feeling the slippery film of soap between my hands, feeling my hands rub against each other, feeling the cold water run along my hands, making my hands less slippery with each drop. Shaking the water of my hands. Getting a towel. Feeling the dry towel on my wet hands, feeling its softness, its warmth. Simply feeling. 

When I’m folding the laundry with the help of my one year old I try to focus on doing just that, folding the laundry with her. Not watching a television show. Not thinking about how much faster it would be done if I would do it on my own. Not thinking about how it would be less boring if I were watching Oprah. Taking a towel from my daughter, thanking her, putting it on my knees, folding it twice and then four times. Putting it on the back of the couch  so eager little fingers cannot get a hold of them again. Taking another towel. Appreciating the help I’m being offered. Folding until the basket is empty. Simply enjoying folding together.

When I’m listening to you I try to focus on doing just that, listening to you. Not having my own story in mind, assuming you mean this or that, not interrupting to fill in the blanks or tell my story. Just hearing your voice, listening to your story. Seeing the expressions on your face, sensing your body. Feeling my breath going in and out. Simply being a space for your story, for you.  

It’s easier said than done, though. I mess up all the time, catching myself red handed. And that’s okay, I just try again and again. It’s worth every bit of struggle. I’ve noticed that when I really focus on one thing at a time, I allow myself to simply be. When I’m not distracted, I can feel Life flowing through me. I feel the oneness with Life. I feel connected with you.  

The way I feel. The food I eat. The clothes I wear. The books I read. The chair I sit in. The look on your face. They are reflections of me. When I look around. What do I see? Nourishment? Scarcity? Love? Abundance? Disapproval? What does this say about me?

Through my five senses I create the world around me. I give meaning to the fire storm of neurons in my brain. I filter all incoming messages according to what I have learned. I am selective in what I experience. This way, I create the world around me. Life is a mirror reflecting back at me how I see myself. When you say you’re fat, while I think your skinny, do I feel you’re wrong or do I see two reflections, yours and mine. When you say you love me, when you say I’m a stupid cow, do I think you’re right or do I know myself as I am and recognize the reflection of you.

One of The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz talks about is Don’t take anything personally. This one agreement turned my life around. All these years, the world had revolved around little me. Once I saw your actions as reflections of how you view yourself, I started seeing myself as I am.

Life is a mirror. It only reflects what is there. Essentially, the world is in me.

One of first things that opened my mind to a different view of reality was the concept of illusion. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz calls it mitote, fog or smoke.

When I was I child, I learned to see the world through the eyes of my parents, my teachers, and society as a whole. I learned to label everything, Mom, Dad, Bird, Tree, House… I learned where to put my attention, how to behave, what was wrong and right,  and even how to feel. I internalized their ideas and they became mine. And thus my ego was born. When I looked at a tree, I would think tree and forget what it looked like before I even knew that word. When I broke the rules, I would feel guilty not remembering I was without guilt before I knew there were rules. The pure being I once was became clouded by a fog of concepts. I could not see myself or the world as they really are. And as everyone is conditioned differently, everyone experiences the world differently. Once I got this,  Read the rest of this entry »

It is strange how sometimes things just seem to come together. Somewhat more than a week ago, I decided to throw out all conceptions I had about myself. From the moment I did, it has been almost silent in my head. My inner-critic seems to have taken a vacation. The world has become a lighter place, more pleasurable and peaceful.

A few days later, I started reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth and I feel I’ve come full circle, at last. I did not know Eckhart Tolle previous books, but I was captivated by the subtitle Awakening to your Life’s purpose. Reading this book felt like coming home to me.  I was able put my journey into perspective and found a deep sense of peace. The book rang true with me on the deepest level.  I’m trying to come up with a metaphore, but the only thing that comes to mind is the fresh breeze that  blows through a house when you open the windows during a spring cleaning to let out the stale winter air. You smell spring and all you want to do is take a deep breath, let it all in. What Tolle writes is not new, but it certainly is renewing.

If you define yourself as a seeker, if you want to learn more about you, (your) Life and its meaning, this book will leave you speechless. It is mindblowing, litterally. With the book comes a once in a lifetime opportunity of attending world’s largest class online with Oprah and Eckhart . Join a community of over half a million people worldwide that are ready for change. Read, listen and be transformed.

Some years ago, I learned that the world as we experience it is colored by our perceptions. Since, I’ve been questioning my world. I questioned my roles in relationships, my beliefs during discussions and I tried to question myself. The latter constantly seemed to elude me. Everytime, I thought I was on to something, it dissipated before my eyes. I came to the conclusion that the mind is conning, it keeps playing tricks on me. Time to do things slightly differently.
On Monday, during lunch, while eating my sandwiches, I knew it was time to let go of me in order to find ME. Like you would empty a glass of water for a refill, I emptied myself of all conceptions I have of myself, so I can be filled again by what the heart knows true.

Until I let go of God, some eight years ago, my life was an ongoing conversation with God. As I let go, I lost my ability to pray. I felt surrounded by divine energy, but did not know how to communicate with it. So I lived by the word of Meister Eckhart. If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.
On Tuesday,  reading Gary Zukav’s Seat of the Soul again, I came across the words Allow yourself to pray. These four words sang in my heart. And as I felt the deep longing to share my life, instantly came the words I wanted to say. Communication restored. I was home, home at last. Connected again.

I truly believe we’re one with the Universe or God, as I still call it. If God were the ocean, we’re all a cup of God. I revel in the opportunity I have today to let my glass be filled with God. I surrender my me to let the Universe’s will be done. To be all I can be, to be ME. 

At this stage in my life I repeat endlessly the same words to my one-year old daughter. Car, dog, cat… even when we’re driving on the highway, or taking a walk in the parc at dog walking hour. I read the same books, over and over again, imitating all kinds of farm animals (I do the best cock-a-doodle-doo, really). And I don’t mind. Although mothering doesn’t pay, is not highly regarded in today’s society, it is what I do best and what I love most. I admit it’s not all I want to do in this lifetime, but caring for this girl definitely is one of the reasons I’m on this earth.

This week I’m coming to peace with the idea that being me simply means piecing together all the parts that have meaning to me. Accepting  that I attract into my life what I need to address in order to heal the soul. I have learned this lesson intellectually some years ago, but only now its seeds fall into good ground. There are no mistakes, just a zillion ways to be me. 

My love and I go back a long time. Almost 18 years, more than half of my life. I met him when I was 17 and  I married him at 22. Looking back, I was young and naive, believing this relationship would fix anything that wasn’t working, believing I needed him to make me whole.  As you might imagine, it has not been an easy ride. Many times my illusions were shattered, I felt shattered,  wishing I was alone or with someone else, wishing I had met him at a later time in my life, more mature, more me. 

Looking back, I have developed a different outlook. Being in this relationship, I learn the lessons I need to learn to be me. Over the past years, our relationship has been evolving from a traditional relationship to a more spiritual partnership in which we are getting more and more aware of our roles in nurturing each other’s spiritual growth. He is the one who helps me find my true north, who sees (glimpses of) all I can be, who is always supportive of my true self. And he is the one who can  push all my buttons, pointing me to where I need to look inside, to where I need healing in order to grow. 

I feel truly blessed to have met such an empowering soul mate, with whom I have created such a rich and soulful love.   I am grateful for the opportunity to share this love with the little girl that has been sent our way. I am thankful for the abundant love I receive in this life.

Whenever I start something new, the first thing I do is read. These last weeks, working on a concept for a business, I read a lot of management bestsellers, including Good to Great by Jim Collins. In this book I found a proven model for creating a business, called the Hedgehog Concept. It is inspired by the tale of the hedgehog and the fox, in which the fox attempts daily to catch the hedgehog, and the hedgehog continuously out smartens him doing what he does best in the world, rolling up to an invincible ball of spikes. The Hedgehog Concept consists of three circles that interlink in the middle. Each circle represents an essential ingredient to your success. What you are passionate about. What you could potentially do best in the world. And your economic denominator. Where these key ingredients meet lies your unique greatness.

So there I was trying to fit my ideas into this model, and it simply did not work. It was clear this malfunction had nothing to do with the model and everything with my preconceived ideas about what I wanted to do for a living. Yet, I was not willing to let them go. So, I asked my husband, ‘What would you say I’m passionate about?’ It was a difficult question, as I love so many things. A day later, he reported back, ‘Creation, design’. That same day, I had been chewing on a similar question, ’What makes me really happy?’ Colors, flowers, creating, were my answers. Ok, you might say, great! One down, two to go. Well, actually it was two down, one to go, as I automatically knew what I could potentially be best in the world at. But I was feeling everything but great. I felt downright horrible. There was so much resistance inside of me. How could painting flowers make the world a better place, how would it help people in need?  How does it give meaning? And on a more mundane level, how would I ever make a living? I would be playing around, not working. I could not wrap my mind around these apparent dualities. Yet, this yearning to create is not new, it has been there forever, always pushed aside by more egodriven desires, like having a ‘real’ career, the need to fit in and to have a meaningful life.  

Late this afternoon, quietude returned to my life as I saw the Light. I believe there is a purpose to every life, finding it gives meaning not only to the evolution of a single soul but to the evolution of our species. You can find clues throughout your life, in your talents and preferences, in the people you meet and the situations you encounter. I can all to easily imagine that it’s easy to be blind sided by all that seems important. What if I’ve been actually blind sided by my upbringing, my education and this society’s idea of success. What if I’m supposed to be a creator in this lifetime, would that alone not give my life the meaning I’m looking for? A few months ago, I was captured by a line I heard James Ray say which has been something of mantra since, ‘Anytime you damn any part of creation, you dam the flow of good in God to you.’ I am blessed with an abundance of creative talents which I have ignored for most of my life. Now may just be the perfect time to learn from a hedgehog how to live my heart’s desire and find personal greatness.

With the New Year,  I’m always glad I can return to a normal, more organized life. This year, after having dedicated a full year to caring for my new-born daughter, I could not simply return to my life. The time had come to expand my life to the other areas I want to explore in this lifetime.  Still caring almost full-time for my girl, I had to redistribute my energy and redefine time to combine homemaking, daily study time, exercise and meditation, weekly us- and me-time with creating my own business.
To be able to focus on the things I really want, I actually needed to create a ’weekly schedule’. I get up at 5am and am in bed by 10pm. In between, I focus as best as I can on what matters to me. I have thrown overboard most stuff that was fun, but not important. It may seem rigorous to some people, but I thrive on it. I feel more energized, and most importantly I feel I’m moving in the right direction. 

All these years, I’ve been trying to discover what I needed to do with my life. I guess I’m a natural at making things complicated. Where others just worked to make a living, my work had to be meaningful. There I was, endowed with all these talents, but not able to choose how to use them. I was frustrated beyond words.  I now realize I was trying to make the perfect choice.

Then I got some shocking advice. Someone said ‘Just make the best choice you can. Imagine what you want to do most and take action.’ So here I am, taking action. Learning that clarity comes with moving forward. Discovering that my intuition is a wise guide. Trusting that my path will unfold with every step I take. Being surprised at how simple life can be. One thing I know for sure, it’s better than perfect.

I have never seen life as clear as I do now. I’m on a new level. This a new ball game and there’s no going back. On arrival, I have had to change my outlook on life. I am changing my thoughts, my behaviors and my dreams accordingly. For the first time in my life, I’m taking action on what I already believe to be true. I have faith I will produce the results I set out to produce.

As a result my life is changing. Working toward my goals, I’m casting off anything that doesn’t serve my progress. I love blogging, but it took up too much time. Time I’m not willing to spend on it anymore. So I’m wondering how I can use my blog in a time-effective way to help me reach my goals and inspire anyone who reads it . I’m working on it…

For the new year, I wish you will receive what you’re asking for and find what you’re looking for. May you be blessed beyond belief.

Life did not go as foreseen these last weeks. I had to let go a lot, and I did. Until yesterday.
I normally have Wednesdays to focus on what I need to do in order to move forward. I have a whole day to get in touch with the life I need to lead in order to be fulfilled. I need that day. It is as essential to me as oxygen. Yesterday was the fourth Wednesday in a row that I let other priorities prevail over mine.  Those of my husband, my daughter and of our family as a whole. Yesterday, it felt like too much. I was frustrated with myself for giving in, angry with my husband for not respecting my time and energy. I felt like crying all the time. Why didn’t I let go?

I know I can let go anything I want to. But I did not want to let go of my frustration and anger. Letting go would mean letting go of my perceived weakness, of my husband’s perceived carelessness.  I wanted to hold on to my anger and pain to show my husband I was hurting. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling. I did not want to let him off the hook easily. I only realized this mid-afternoon, while taking a shower. The water rinsed away all the hurt that was clinging to me. In that moment, I remembered everything is just fine as it is. All I can do is choose consciously and then let go. This experience will allow me to choose more wisely next time, for I have created a conscious memory of what it feels like when I don’t precisely lay out and protect my own boundaries. Again, I was reminded that the journey to obtaining the life of my dreams is a journey. In the end, it is not about reaching my goals, it is about what I learned along the way.

You don’t want me as your car mechanic, and that is okay with me, for I have no ambition in that direction. Somewhere along the way, I have made a conscious choice not to develop that capacity. And for the moment, I have no desire in improving my knowledge in that area. Maybe some day, I will love to learn all there is to know about my car, but for now I’m perfectly fine with not knowing anything about it. I don’t perceive this as a weakness, it is just a wilfully undeveloped area in my life. 

You don’t want me as a mediator either, for I simply lack the capacity to understand other people’s perceptions when they do not fit my world view. And that is not okay with me, for I want to be able to understand your point of view and someone else’s as well, so I can create synergistic relationships. Yesterday, I realized that when growing up I simply had no role model who showed a sincere interest in how someone else viewed the world, who was willing to be changed by someone else’s ideas. In my life I have unconsciously perpetuated this old programming. Yesterday, I recognized this so-called shortcoming is merely an undeveloped area in my life. The difference with car mechanics is that here I do feel a deep need to change. I want to learn all there is to know about you, see and feel the world your way, to enrich my life by understanding yours. Today, I have decided I will invest all energy, time and money necessary to become an expert in making this perceived weakness my perceived strength.

Years ago, we were touring New-Zealand for four weeks. What I had looked forward to for months was a hike around Mount Tongariro. When we came to Tongariro NP, we were told at the tourist information, the park would be closed due to a snow storm. It could take up to a week. By then we would be on the boat heading to the South Island, we had booked earlier that day. I looked at our options and in a split second came up with an alternative plan. We would go east to Napier and then head south. My husband was stunned and honestly, so was I.

I come from a place of zero flexibility. When life did not go as I wanted or expected to, I’d sob endlessly over a lost chance or dream. I would get stuck in time and in life in general. What I have learned over the years is that everything in life is about letting go. With letting go comes flexibility. And with flexibility comes being human. It is a godgiven talent. Look at a child and you’ll know what I mean. I had forgotten I had it in me, and had not nurtured and developed it appropriately. It has taken a great deal of practice and courage to get it up to speed. I had to be willing to go out on a limb. To embrace the uncertainty of the unknown. To open my heart to all other possibilities life was handing me. I’m still learning, but I know for sure that when life hands me a lemon, I’ll make lemonade.

One year ago exactly, while giving birth to my daughter, I was born. It was one of the most powerful moments in my life. Never before had I experienced, something as raw, something as pure. Never in my life had I had such clarity, stamina or focus. It felt as if my consciousness expanded and I was joined by all those women from time immemorial who had gone through the same rite of passage. I could feel their energy, tap into their wisdom. I was not the first nor the last to experience this pain. I was but a link in the chain of life, a fortunate link.
A year has passed. It has been the best year ever. My daughter is this vibrant girl, full of energy. I am deeply grateful for her loving presence. For her open mind and ingenuity. For the joy she exudes. But most of all, I’m grateful for the lessons she has taught me so far. That I am giving, loving, patient and powerful beyond measure. To be in the moment, not to worry about the future or fuss about the past.  She is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. She has given me life.