It is Summer time, school holidays have started almost two weeks ago and I am home with my daughter. Last week, I did not write an article and this week the article I want to write is too complex to write between the scenes. So, I decided that I will start writing again when school starts.
Normally, I would feel compelled to write, not for the love of writing but out of the need to do something ‘real’ with my time, something that could be considered ‘work’. And there was this nagging sense of having missed the boat and having to paddle real hard to catch up, a sense of never having enough time to make my life matter. That sense is gone.
A large part of my time is dedicated to being a parent. This is a choice I made consciously and that is somehow becoming more conscious each day. The result is that I have less time to pursue that thing called career. For a long time that bothered me, no more. True, on the surface things seem to go slower. So what? I don’t believe in a linear Universe anyway. Big stressor gone.
Thing is I am having a blast. I am enjoying each day thoroughly. These weeks, each day, I do at least one fun thing with my daughter and I make a pastel drawing for myself. The rest of the time, she is having fun playing, usually with friends, and I do all kinds of stuff that need to be done, most of them for a long time already. And it feels good to do them.
I am learning so much about myself, and my daughter, and how we can (co-)create a great time. And I love it! Things flow with such ease that it amazes me. At the end of the day, usually way late, I am physically tired and fulfilled to the core. Of course, there are moments when I don’t feel exactly that way, for example when after having folded five laundries, I stumble over a toy my daughter left on the ground and spill half a glass of red wine on our white woolen carpet. But still, that takes five minutes of fussing and fuming and then it’s gone again. Then I realize that the amount of laundry, the toy, the wine, the carpet were all luxury problems to begin with, and once again I love my life! More so every day.
That love not so much is a result of the life I live as it is an essential ingredient that makes it so great. I am learning to say ‘thank you’ up front and love Life before it has unfolded. I am learning that change in perspective changes everything. Love breeds love.
I am wishing you a marvelous Summer. May every day be a great day. See you soon.
photo: my daughter and me conquering the North Sea, last year, in England.