Last week, I wrote about what distracts me when I’m walking this tightrope called life, feelings of lack, mostly lack of time and how I counter that. This week I want to write about what keeps me balanced most, what makes me walk this thin line with ease.
I am balanced when I love walking the tightrope. I am balanced when I love Life. It is a simple as that, but there’s a catch. I am balanced when I love Life, no matter what. So no matter what is happening, I love Life. And as Life includes everything that is happening, I love that what is happening now too. Not just when I’m sitting in my warm and sunny garden sipping a glass of Prosecco, not just when I live in a beautiful home, have the job I really want, the child I longed for so much or perfect health. Love is easy when Life feels good.
It means I love Life too when things happen that I consider to be ‘not good’. To love Life in these situations, I need to develop a mature love. It is a love that does not judge Life, that loves Life no matter what it looks like. To really love your life means that you love it even when things don’t seem to go your way. It is an unconditional love of Life. Only when you learn to love the absence of what is wanted or the presence of what is unwanted, you remain balanced. This is not just ‘spiritual’ talk, this is the most pragmatic you can get. This is your life, if you want to learn balance, if you want to learn and stay on that tightrope, if you want to live a great life, your best life, you have no option but to love all of it.
I don’t mean to sound harsh, I know what both the absence of what is wanted and the presence of what is unwanted feel like, I know how all-consuming they can feel. But what I know too when I look back on my life, is that my biggest struggles and my deepest pains were the greatest invitations to become more of all that I can be. And when I accepted them as blessings in disguise and learned to embrace and love them, that is exactly what they became. You don’t have to believe that we’re here for a reason, that there is a greater purpose to all this or that life is here to teach us, you can apply this principle anyway and it will work. When you treat any circumstance as a blessing, it will be so. If you want to live a balanced life, if you want to be able to walk that rope with ease, if you want to love this one life that you are living right now, then love the blessing that has yet to reveal itself.
There is nothing esoteric about this. If you want your life to be a great life, there are really two things you need to do, you have to create the intention to do so and direct you attention to it. It is a shift in focus, that’s what it is. Instead of focusing on what isn’t working, you start focusing on what is working, and you start noticing things to be grateful for that are present in this situation, things you can be appreciative of. It is your choice to either look through the lens of lack or the lens of abundance. I chose the second, not because of the idea that abundance is better than lack or because to love is better than not to love, but because it works. When I focus on the abundance in my life, I have a great life.
To help me do that, I get still, I close my eyes and I imagine that I am loved unconditionally. I picture in my mind’s eye people and circumstances that made me feel loved unconditionally. I allow this love to fill me by adding to it. I amplify it, I feel it to the point that I know I am loved, until it gets so big that I am one with it. If you can’t remember a person or circumstances, remember the love of a pet, or that one instant when you felt loved, even if it was because a ray of sunshine was tickling your skin. If that is too difficult, imagine what it would feel like to be loved unconditionally, to be loved with your quirks and bad habits, to be loved as you are, and make that feeling so big that it becomes real. Soak it up.
From that space I look at my life and ask myself what there is to be thankful for, what there is to appreciate about this situation, what blessing is willing to reveal itself, and then I just listen to the whispers that start arising. I don’t mind the voice of your mind doing its usual skeptical shouting and focus on the whispers of my heart. When you don’t hear them, it doesn’t mean that they’re not there, it simply means you have to develop the ears of your heart. It takes practice, as does everything new. When you do this more often, you will get better at it. Then when I have allowed my heart to speak by being still for a bit, I thank myself for my willingness, for being true to my intention to live my best life, to love this one life. Thank yourself for your courage to try something new. And then I go through my day as I normally would, only with different eyes and ears, because they are primed for things to be thankful for, things to appreciate, clues to help me discover the blessing that is unfolding.
This is what I know for sure, happiness for no reason is the product of a balanced mind. When you focus on keeping your balance, on walking that rope with love, bliss will follow.