Unexplored territories await

20 11 2007

Giving birth, my life turned upside-down. My life had been centered around healthy eating, running and exercise.  All of a sudden, everything was different, life was centered around this tiny bundle of new life. Life was different, but oh so good. Slowly, life returned to normal, except for those healthy habits. Eating healthily and exercising daily had been key in generating discipline. Being able to control my body had enabled me to control my mind. With my eating and exercising habits, discipline had gone out the back door too.

In order to create discipline again, I started making small commitments to myself and making good on them.  Today, I am ready to start doing those dreaded crunches. I’ll envision how strenghtening my core will strenghten my mind. I can do this, I have done this before. What happens after I’ve reclaimed my discipline, I don’t know. Unexplored territories await where new found purpose meets self-confidence and willpower. I almost can’t wait to see what life will bring.

Easy does it

30 10 2007

How do I do what matters most to me, without letting slide all these not so important things that need to be done? I’m not talking about those chores I do on a daily or weekly basis, they get done. Rather, how do I make time to finish the curtain that I am (or better said ‘was’) making for our kitchen window. Custom make that vinyl tablecloth so my girl can try and eat her own yoghurt? Adjust the leg length of my jeans? Sew the button on a shirt? I see it needs to be done, but I don’t seem to get around to doing it.
All of a sudden, I realize it might have nothing to do with having or making time. It’s about the sewing. What I want usually doesn’t exist or is so expensive I decide to make it myself. But as well as I can sew, I really don’t like it. Now what to do? There are three solutions. One, just buy what is available. Two, pay someone else to make it for me (risking it is not up to my standard). Or three, learn to have fun sewing. For the present projects, I will exercise willpower and try to change my perception. If that doesn’t work however; next time, I’ll consider having it done. And as a last resort, I can always go to the store as normal people would do. 
As obvious as this may seem to you, it’s huge to me. You really have no idea.

Personal investment

27 10 2007

A new philosophy, a new way of life, is not given for nothing. It has to be paid dearly for and only acquired with much patience and great effort.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Ask, and it will be given

26 10 2007

Who am I meant to be? This question I have asked myself for years. I was sincere in my quest, but had not yet evolved to the point where I could recognize the answer. Now for the first time in my life, I believe I can. It was there all along, but I was not ready to find it. I did not know my own potential, nor did I have the security to take on the challenge ahead of me. Now I do.
Now is my time. I have no clue how to bring my dream to life, but I know I will. I don’t know what it will take, but I know I am willing to make this happen. I don’t know what life has in store for me, but I know it will be revealed to me as long as I keep asking the right questions.

Peace of mind

19 10 2007

Recently, I went through the process of clearing from my head all the commitments I have made with myself and others.. This mental to-do list was taking up too much space and way too much processing time. In stead of tossing everything, I put it down in writing. In three separate lists: things I’m committed to at present, the next step I need to take to get these things done and things I might commit myself to someday. It is interesting to see how the mind actually quiets down when you get rid of all excess baggage. Apparently, the mind keeps repeating whatever commitment you have made to yourself, even the simplest of simple intentions as ‘check out that website’ or ‘sew button on pink shirt’ (which reminds me..), until it is done. Writing down al these to-do’s and checking your lists on a daily basis gives peace of mind, and even better it makes room for actual thinking. For that, I want to thank David Allen with all my head.

Big rocks first

15 10 2007

‘Most people go through life rather organically, whereas you have a whole set of rules you apply,’ a friend mused, referring to Thursday’s post. That is true, I’m an all or nothing kind of person. For most people, this is hard to grasp, they think I’m too strict on myself. As for me, it is about giving the right kind of energy. For instance, I want to age healthily. To attain this goal I need a healthy lifestyle and part of that is exercise. I decide to go running every day. Of course, I could start with once a week, but that doesn’t work for me. I need it to be an automatism to get up at a certain time, put on my shoes and just start running, rain or shine. This way, I do what matters without putting in the effort. I don’t have to think about it, I just do it. Same with meditation, study and, writing this post. In the bowl that is my life, I try to put in the big rocks first, than the pebbles, than fill it up with sand. This way, everything will fit in, whereas the other way around…  you just do the experiment yourself and find out.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

11 10 2007

I have committed myself to entering one post every day, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. Seven posts a week, four of which my own writing. What do I do then when my mind is blank, when I have nothing to write about? Do I search frantically for some subject no matter what or do I renegotiate my commitment and let go? I was busy doing one, almost resorting to the other, when I was reminded there is a lesson in everything, all I have to do is capture it in writing. One lesson, one post, done.